As a leader of the young women in my church, I regularly facilitate gatherings with young women, as well as women of all ages. Through these experiences, one thing I’ve come to appreciate is the value of a good icebreaker.
Now, I know what some of you may be thinking: Do we really need another icebreaker? Especially when everyone already knows each other?
My answer is yes! And here’s why.
Icebreakers are commonly used when new groups come together. They’re simple activities, games, or conversation prompts designed to help people feel comfortable, encourage participation, and create opportunities for connection.
But I believe their purpose goes beyond simply helping people get acquainted.
An icebreaker isn’t just about getting people to talk. It’s about creating space for everyone to have a voice.
And that’s exactly why I use an icebreaker almost every time I facilitate a meeting, even when everyone in the room already knows each other.
I want everyone to feel heard. I want everyone to have an opportunity to participate, contribute, and experience the joy of being together. Sometimes, something as simple as a question or a quick activity at the beginning of a gathering can help create that atmosphere.
Why Small Interactions Matter
Think about small talk. We often overlook these brief, everyday conversations, but they can have more value than we realize.
In a 2014 study titled Social Interactions and Well-Being: The Surprising Power of Weak Ties, researchers Gillian Sandstrom and Elizabeth Dunn explored the relationship between everyday social interactions and well-being. They found that interactions with acquaintances, or people outside our closest relationships, were associated with greater happiness and feelings of belonging.
For example, students reported greater happiness and belonging on days when they interacted with more classmates than usual.
You can read the research here: Sandstrom & Dunn (2014).
Although the study wasn’t specifically about icebreakers, I believe icebreakers can serve a similar purpose. They create intentional moments for interaction that might not otherwise happen, even among people who have known each other for years.
And here’s something else I stand by:
Icebreakers are only as cheesy as you make them!
Not every icebreaker has to involve an awkward introduction, a silly question, or a game that makes everyone uncomfortable. In fact, I think one of the most important parts of facilitating a good icebreaker is knowing your group and understanding what you want the activity to accomplish.
Different icebreakers serve different purposes, and that’s what makes them so useful.
Different Groups, Different Icebreakers
For groups that are new to one another, a classic game or a simple get-to-know-you question can be a great starting point. These activities give people an opportunity to learn names, discover common interests, and become more comfortable speaking in a group.
But for groups that are already familiar with one another, I like to take a different approach.
A deeper conversation question, a collaborative challenge, or an activity that requires people to work together in pairs or small groups can create opportunities for a different level of connection.
Because here’s the thing: Just because we know someone doesn’t mean there’s nothing left to learn about them.
People are constantly growing, changing, and experiencing new things. The person you met a year ago may have new perspectives, interests, or experiences that you haven’t had the opportunity to hear about.
Sometimes, all it takes is the right question.
Keep It Fresh, Keep It Intentional
In my experience, switching things up is important.
When we use the same activities over and over, meetings can begin to feel routine. But introducing different types of icebreakers can bring new energy into the room and create opportunities for different kinds of connection.
Some icebreakers are meant to bring laughter and joy. Others encourage reflection, creativity, teamwork, or meaningful conversation.
And sometimes, the best icebreaker is simply a thoughtful question that gives someone an opportunity to share something they wouldn’t normally bring up.
As a facilitator, I’ve learned that it’s not always about choosing the most exciting game or coming up with the most creative question. It’s about being intentional with the space you’re creating and the people you’re bringing together.
The Ice May Be Broken, but Connection Can Keep Growing
Ultimately, I don’t believe icebreakers are something we should stop using once a group has gotten comfortable with one another.
The initial awkwardness may be gone. Names may already be familiar. Friendships may have formed. But that doesn’t mean the work of building connection is finished.
Connection is something we can continue to build, strengthen, and nurture over time.
And I think that’s worth making room for.
So whether you’re leading a church group, facilitating a meeting, hosting a gathering, or bringing people together for the first time, don’t underestimate the value of a good icebreaker.
It might seem like a small part of your gathering, but sometimes those small moments create opportunities for meaningful connections.
Looking for a Place to Start?
If you’re looking for something simple that requires little to no preparation, I’ve put together a collection of [simple, no-print icebreakers] that you can use at your next gathering.
And if you’re hoping to encourage deeper, more intentional connections, explore my [printable connection games and activities] designed for different groups, ages, and occasions.
Whether you’re meeting for the first time or have been gathering for years, there’s always room to learn something new about one another.
Plant your seed. Grow your story.
Reference
Sandstrom, G. M., & Dunn, E. W. (2014). Social interactions and well-being: The surprising power of weak ties. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 40(7), 910–922. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167214529799